LOOKS LIKE MARYS OFF MY BLOGS! THANKGOODNESS!

i had taken her off MY blogs in the second week of our fighting on facebook. and off every connected sight we share together online.
she was still connected to me...i looked for a way to remove her from my blogs on here,, and the policy was as long s NETWORKED Blogs (the publishing feed to facebook) was posting  feeds to the public, there was no way to remove her. because the blogs were public blogs.

so, i had then decided to think about moving all these blogs over to wordpress...to get her OUT of my life...and actually was working on that endevor.
today i went and checked too see if shes connected to these, and i dont see her (THANK GOODNESS!)

shes also tried to RE-connect herself to my youtube channel (both accounts). one more time and i block her completely.
i dont have the tollerance for her erratic behavior, nor do i have the time to commit to trying to make her see the world in a better way, thats a job shell have to figure out on her own.

i cant give her the life shes seeking.
i cant make people like her.
i cant make God bless her.
thats all on her.

shes OFF my blogs, so thats good, for me anyway.

i feel i can write in some peace and tranquility, at least...but i know, all she has to do is open any browser and search my blog and go read...go for it, just DO NOT connect. i have nothing to hide. i never have.

oh, and by the way? mary? dont try to sling anything around about my NEMESIS, and my NEMESIS wife, as dirt on me...you dont even know the names of these individuals...(hence the nicknames ive given them)
never know, my NEMESIS wife might be reading this, and decide to connect to you...(look up HAHN JACKSON on facebook, or TWIG HAHN, or TWIG JACKSONE, or MARY HAHN, yeah i know about your new "gamer name" if your interested in connecting to her) she might share all kinds of stories (and lies) about me with you. and you both can  plan my dimise and wish the worst for me. have fun while you do it, might as well make it worth the effort, after all.

i, on the other hand, have forgiven them, even you, mary. and am at peace with it all. so, bring it. dish it out as heavy as you want too. im right here...waiting.

i truthfully DO have God on my side, because i am at peace. you cant say that, mary. your still living in turmoil.  and anxiety, and having issue.  even as the world appears to be against me, i am held in His goodness. i cant say that about you.

see? the part you forget is the pain, and anguish , and trial you bear, is brought on by your own selfishness...and greed.
learn to love others, despite their faults, and forgive them, even if they do you harm, and move forward in the perfect grace of the Savior.
your job here, on earth, is to be as CHRISTLIKE (meaning as much like Him as possible) as you can be.
even HE had righteous anger. even He cried, and wept. so id thing that the range of emotions within the human soul would be allowed, just also within the laws of God.

we cant pick and chose which commandments will work for us, you either follow them all, its pointless to follow the few, because while your trying to be better, your also convincing yourself to bend for yourself, which is a tool of satan.
and as long as your allowing yourself to be convinced its ok to "sin a little here, and sin a little there, for the end doesnt come till the 'morrow" then youll never ever get the clearity and enlightenment your seeking.

your heart aches, mary, your soul yearns....and all it needs to get right is...to follow the laws the way God said to do it. if it isnt broken, why try to fix it?
if it works for millions and billions of people, then why do you assume to change any part of it would work in your favor?

your not following some of the most basic commandments given.
and your NOT following the gratest one ever told:
"to love one another, even as I, the Lord, loves you"
"no greater love hath a man towards another, than to lay down his life for him"

i STILL love you. i always have. but as long as you make unreasonable demands of me. and expect me to be your pawn, ill have to stay away from you.
id NEVER put you in harms way, im the one that offered you a place to come when i feared youd die at the hand of chris...so WHY would i invite him back INTO your life?
im the one that wanted you to be a free person, and not shackled any longer by his abuse, i wanted you to fly away a free bird, and see the beauty and glorious happiness that can come from being free mentally, spiritually, emotionaly, and physically..your out of the cage, but still within it. and that saddens me.

so, you take all your anger, and rage out on me and terry, your newest pawn/lover/husband. and anyone else that steps in your path. ive nicknamed you the tornado, you sweep in with so much fury and rage, people are left with a task of putting back together what you ripped apart, and you say they deserved it..no one deserves to have to suffer because YOU suffer.
no one said you have a right, because your in pain to inflict pain upon others.
you dont have that right.

you really needed time away from chris to discover your own true self...to see the world without the shades of a lover on, or th  shades of a bruised injured soul... to experience the love that God has for you, just you and Him.
but you were scared to do it. still are.
and ran into the arms of the next available human, hoping for a better way.

mary, that better way is in YOU!
if you want better, YOU have the power to make it better.
if you want happiness, thats in YOU.
BE HAPPIER!
just chose to do it, and get it done.
its a power we ALL have, but few fail to see its true magic.

its like self esteem, no person can hand that too you, you already posses it, you just have to see it for its tue worth.
self love, happiness, and  beauty, are all inside you...
go get them.

be happy. cause you deseve it.
always have.

i love you. but i have too keep my distance as long as your toxic.
i had to take my mother in small doses as well. i KNOW toxicity..ive lived with it, your a shinning example in my life of what to stay away from.
i have to thank you for that.
i at least can see the signs.
gives me the power to say "NO" and allow you to grow and become better.

i pray you will.

MICHELLE